I’ve been working with a group of clients these past couple of months on the theme of releasing control. This morning, while reading We Were Made for These Times by Kaira Jewel Lingo (no relation), I was reminded of how the mindfulness practice of accepting what is offers us such relevant tools.

So often, we try to control outcomes, people, or circumstances as a way to resist change or challenge—believing that if we plan enough, prepare enough, or brace ourselves just right, we might avoid pain. But as the Buddhists remind us, suffering isn’t caused by change itself. It comes from how we relate to it—when we resist, judge, or blame, or turn against our own reactions (see the Parable of the Second Arrow).

Ironically, while control promises protection from the unexpected, it often brings more suffering. The good news? Control isn’t our only option. We can practice softening, letting go, and discovering what emerges when we don’t hold so tightly.

How do you tend to respond when things don't go your way? How would you like to respond, and what would support you in this?

Warmly,
Erin

Somatic Practice: Supported Release

Here’s a simple practice you can try this week – and here's a recorded version if you'd like my voice to guide you:

1. Sit comfortably, with your feet grounded and your back supported.

2. Take a slow breath in, and on the exhale, let your shoulders drop.

3. Press your palms together firmly for a few moments, noticing the effort.

4. Then, release your hands into your lap, palms open.

5. Stay here for a few breaths, sensing the shift from holding to letting go.

You might ask yourself: What would it be like to let go just 5% more?