Change comes for all of us, doesn't it? Sometimes it's welcome: the first signs of spring, a much-needed vacation, a refresh to the menu at your favorite lunch spot. Sometimes it's less so: an unexpected event, a decision made without your input or outside of your control, a loss. In fact, I've experienced almost every one of those in the last several months (with a couple other big changes on the horizon), and I bet you have too – in big and small ways.

What is your familiar response to change? Do you embrace new opportunities, get open and explore what's possible, move toward it? Do you delay, resist, turn away, contract? Do you tense up and avoid it, get defensive, or start second-guessing yourself?

All of these responses are completely natural, just the body doing the work of protecting us from danger. After all, we're evolved to equate predictability with safety, so when that predictability is disrupted, our protective patterns kick in. And while those patterns are adaptive, they can also limit our access to executive functioning, decision-making, empathy, and connection.

Mindfulness and somatic practices help us stay present in the midst of the unexpected, and from that presence, we can begin to reestablish a sense of safety – not because everything is certain, but because we’re aware, in relationship with what’s happening. From there, we can grieve what’s been lost (whether a person, a plan, or a sense of the familiar), get curious about our patterned responses, and begin to respond with more clarity, creativity, and choice.

I'm excited to be offering a collaborative workshop on change with my fellow Innerwork Coaches, as I continue deepening my own practice of being with change as it unfolds. Read more and register here – I’d love for you to join us in practice.

A Practice for Nurturing Ourselves During Change

Here's one of my favorite practices, from one of my favorite teachers, Tara Brach. She teaches a mindfulness and compassion practice called RAIN, meant to be used in the moment of destabilization:

• Recognize what's happening: this is the moment to pause, notice the thoughts, feelings, and sensations that are present

• Allow the experience of those thoughts, emotions, and sensations to simply be there, without judging ourselves or trying to fix anything – you might even allow resistance itself if it pops up

• Investigate with curiosity and care, asking what most needs attention, what beliefs come along with this experience, keeping the attention on the felt-sense experience

• Nurture with self-compassion, offering a gesture, touch, or kind words to that part of you that is most vulnerable, turning toward love

You can practice along with Tara here (or here for a shorter one).